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Monogram Etiqutte

I was getting ready to make a wedding related purchase this weekend (more on that later) and as I got to the personalization portion, I was stuck on the monogram. It's something we're going to use during our ceremony so I think we can get away with using our combined monogram. But as I got ready to enter our initals, I wasn't sure who's was supposed to come first. I wanted it to be the style with our married surname initial in the middle & each of our first initials on either side (like the one above from Jack & Lulu). I am sure there has to be etiquette for who's initial is supposed to go where, but I found a lot of conflicting info. I know that prior to the ceremony you're not supposed to use your married monogram anywhere, but if you want to use one you can simply use your first names, like this (image from Lucky Me!):
Or you can use a combination of each of your first and last initials, something like this (image hastily created by me just to use as an example):
Through my research, I also found out that traditionally only the woman's monogram should appear on any linens. I see it done differently all the time, but if you're going "buy the book" apparently that's how it's done. But as far as the three letter monogram, I found info that says the woman's name (and therefore initial) should always be listed first as a courtesy. Then I also found that the man's initials should never be split up, so his should come first in the three letter design:
I know that it doesn't actually matter, but I like to be accurate! I've tried to look for a Peggy/Emily Post answer to this and came up with nothing. Crane's has a lot of info about individual monogram's but I am not coming up with much as far as couple's monograms go. Any ideas or resources?


Molly said...

All of our married monograms (on all of our linens) are hubby's first initial, our shared last initial, my first initial. That is how I had always read it should be done. Funny, I never heard otherwise.

N. said...

I found this on Crane's site:

"Newly weds and blushing brides look forward to creating their couple monogram. That is the bride’s first initial on the left, the groom’s first initial on the right, and the shared last name initial in the middle. An elegant gift for a newly engaged couple is Crane’s monogrammed note cards featuring their newly entwined initials and including a reusable monogram die in a gift pouch. A wonderful way to get started on those wedding thank you notes.

Freed from tradition, monograms have evolved into another way to let you be you."

Love your blog, by the way! :)

N. said...

Here's the rest of that link...


It's Lovely said...

The brides I've worked with who are concerned about etiquette typically ask me for two monograms with a similar look and feel. One with first initials, usually with the bride's initial on the left, to use for pre-ceremony items and one with 3 initials, also usually with the bride's initial on the left, to use for post ceremony items.
In any case, I also say go with what you feel is right, regardless of etiquette. ; )

Anonymous said...

From Letitia Baldrige’s New Manners for New Times (Jackie Kennedy’s former press secretary)and my personal hero:

A man is lucky; he just keeps his same three initials throughout his life – until he marries and adds his wife’s given name initials to make the couple’s new monogram for certain wedding gifts. For example, as a married monogram on engraved silver, etched crystal or embroidered linens, Virginia and Gil Thurston might use vTg as their joint monogram. Virginia may also use her maiden name only starting with her wedding gifts (some people joke that they know the reason for this!)